


The Moon is My Safe Haven

by abstract_chameleon



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Angst, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Spoilers, Unrequited Crush, monokuma is mentioned but not by name, only chapter one spoilers, saimota, takes place during chapter two, this could possibly be seen as one-sided saimatsu too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2017-10-08
Packaged: 2019-01-10 12:57:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12299706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abstract_chameleon/pseuds/abstract_chameleon
Summary: kaede akamatsu is the sun, shuichi saihara is a planet, and kaito momota is his moon





	The Moon is My Safe Haven

**Author's Note:**

> i haven't even finished chapter two and i'm a mess

 To Shuichi Saihara, the man known as Kaito Momota was a safe haven. A refuge from the unfathomable chaos that was becoming all too familiar for the sixteen students trapped inside the Ultimate Academy for Gifted Juveniles. A stronghold in the midst of an unrelenting storm.

 He missed her. He missed her with every frangible fiber of his being. Even if Shuichi had only known the Ultimate Pianist for a few days, she had become the center of his universe, radiating hope in the face of impending doom. Maybe she had been been  _ too _ full of hope…  Maybe — in a situation as grim as this one — it was foolish to hope for anything besides the despair that was certain to come…

 But that didn't stop Shuichi from seeking hope again. No, if anything, the immeasurable amount of despair that had overwhelmed Shuichi when that psychotic bear extinguished her light had actually furthered his desire for a hopeful future. Only a scrap of such twinkling brilliance would never have been enough to satisfy the Ultimate Detective. And so, he did not allow the canopy of despair to encompass him, because hope would always be just beyond the horizon.

 See, Kaede Akamatsu had truly been a star in every sense of the word. With a sunny smile and a warm disposition, she had managed to pull everyone around her into a melodious revolution with her light of hope at the center. If Shuichi and the others were music notes, their orbits had been the piano strings, and the events that had transpired within the academy had composed her bittersweet requiem. While her shining figure still touched the Earth, Shuichi had been blinded. Just as one does not look directly at the sun, someone as brilliant as Kaede could not have been looked in the eye. Shuichi had been naught but a barren planet in her presence, soaking in her melody of hope until she burned out. A supernova that exploded with the blare of a million resounding piano keys.

 Alas, tis the fate of the stars.

 Ironically, Kaito Momota, Luminary of the Stars, was by no means a star. Rugged, craggy, and vigorous to a fault, a man like Kaito could never possess the power to guide those around him and draw them into his orbit. If Kaede was the sun, Kaito was the moon.

 Shuichi had no problem looking directly into the cratered eyes of the moon. As opposed to the times when he attempted to behold the sun, Shuichi’s eyes did not glance away reflexively, nor did his face burn with humiliation. The moon's eyes had a lavender hue and always gave off a dull glow. They were kind and confident, and when Shuichi started into them for long enough, he felt like he was falling.

 Shuichi had recently started to notice that this feeling of falling refused to go away. Lying in an unfamiliar bed and staring at the ceiling in the dark, his heartbeat was racing and his skin had gone cold. The pillows and bedsheets were surely enveloping him, but all he could feel was the pounding within his chest and the swirling inside his stomach. It was as if he had been falling for longer than he could remember, and the sensation was making him sick. Normally, Shuichi could see the night sky if he squeezed his eyelids shut. But now, when he tried to see galaxies dancing on his eyelids, all he saw was blackness. The blackness stretched on for light-years, and Shuichi was falling through it. Falling and falling and falling and falling and falling and —

 There was only thing that could save him now. Shuichi knew that perfectly well. If she could only extend her hand and pull him out of this mess, he would be fine. But that hand was tainted with the blood of an innocent man, and she, too, was no longer breathing as a result. There was no longer a Kaede Akamatsu to save him.

 So Shuichi kept falling, and falling, and falling. It seemed as if he would fall until the end of the twisted killing game. After all, there was no avoiding Kaito Momota. He constantly trailed around Shuichi in a solitary orbit, staying close, but refusing to push any boundaries. He was always present, but never near enough to touch. He and Shuichi spent the majority of their time together — eating breakfast together in the morning, jogging together in the afternoon, eating dinner together in the evening, and exercising together at ridiculous hours of the night. Despite this, Shuichi felt as if the possibility of physical intimacy with Kaito was just as likely as the existence of alien life on Mars.

 A planet was never supposed to collide with its moon, after all.

 Nevertheless, Shuichi fantasised. Everyone knew that the Ultimate Detective had felt the calloused skin of Kaito’s knuckles against his cheek after the climax of the class trial. Those knuckles had never left a bruise, but they had certainly left an impression on Shuichi’s heart. Looking back, Shuichi had decided it was a positive impression, an impression to have courage and fight for the people you care about. Maybe it was silly, but he wondered what the underside of the hand that had punched him felt like, if the palm of that hand could be soft in his own palm. Maybe it was wrong, but he wondered if the lips that chastised his cowardly behavior could be even softer pressed against his own lips, if they could whisper sweet syllables to a person as hopelessly lovestruck as Shuichi Saihara.

 Maybe it wasn't meant to be. Regardless, Shuichi let the scene play in his mind — the Ultimate Astronaut and the Ultimate Detective standing beneath the wisteria blossoms in the middle of the night. Kaito's left hand on Shuichi’s waist and his right hand cupping the smaller man's face. Their lips locked and their bodies pressed together with the cold breeze filling the gaps between them. Shuichi would bury his face into Kaito’s chest, taking in the masculine scent of sweat and patchouli and something altogether indescribable. Kaito would run his fingers through Shuichi’s wind-tousled hair and hold him with the gentle strength only a man with that much physical training could possess.

 That was how Shuichi imagined it, at least.

 When Shuichi thought of Kaito like that, only then did the feeling of falling temporarily go away. For a brief moment, it was as if Shuichi had learned to defy gravity. But it was only fleeting. In the morning, he would be falling again, falling with no sign of landing. Sometimes, when he was sure he was alone, he would cry. He would cry for Kaede, whom he missed dearly, and he would cry for himself, continuously falling in this neverending dream. At times like that, he longed for his safe haven to enfold him and reassure him. But he could never say such things aloud for fear of losing the only person whom he could allow himself to trust. Without the moon, he would be blind, having no light to guide his path. All Shuichi could do was hope that — sooner, rather than later — Kaito Momota would catch him before he hit despair.


End file.
